Idiocy of the Day: 6th Edition -or- Thank Goodness we have the AP!

Idiocy of the Day: 6th Edition -or- Thank Goodness we have the AP!
In breaking news, Darlene Superville (if that's her REAL name) of the AP has achieved unprecedented investigatory infiltration in this story [breitbart.com], where she travels to the heart of wickedness - KARL ROVE'S GARAGE!

From Darlene's story:

The inventory, seen from outside:
_Some cardboard file boxes stacked one on top of the other, labeled "Box 6," "Box 4" and what appears to be "Box 7." No sign of boxes 1, 2, 3 and 5.
What evil secrets must boxes 1, 2, 3 and 5 hold that their content has been spirited away?


_What appear to be paint cans stacked alongside a folded, folding chair.
They "appear" to be paint cans. But then, why would they be stacked beside a folding chair? And why was the chair not UNfolded?


_A rather large wood crate marked "FRAGILE" and painted with arrows indicating which way is up. On top of the crate, two coolers.
As the AP so insightfully informed us many years ago, without assistance the Bush administration cannot ascertain the direction "up."


_A tall aluminum ladder.
A tall ladder! What possible use would an administration official have for a TALL ladder?!


_A snow shovel leaned in front of another cardboard box.
Further evidence that the MSM was correct when they informed us that Rove was shovelling it.


_Wicker baskets inside of wicker baskets on top of a shelf running the length of the rear wall. Transparent plastic storage bins crammed with indiscernible stuff. Another cardboard box.
The need for TOTAL transparency is absolute. Why, if the administration is being transparent, is this "stuff" indiscernible?! And a cardboard box WITHOUT A NUMBER! Oh, what evil must lurk within!


_In one corner, the rear wheel of a bicycle sticks out, along with what appears to be a helmet.
Where, pray tell, has the bicycle's rider vanished to? And it what condition is the apparent head that once occupied the apparent helmet?
_Another ladder, this one green, leaning sideways.
What evil conspiracies must be afoot to require two ladders, of different color and composition, stored in different positions!

It boggles the mind to consider the cunning devilry that must've amassed such a collection. In these times when our attention is oft diverted by trivialities such as terrorism, earthquakes and tsunamis, thank goodness we have the angelic self-sacrifice of Darlene Superville and the AP to brave the black heart of the enemy and bring us KARL ROVE'S GARAGE!

UPDATE: Oops! I misspelled CARL KARL. Sorry about that Carl Karl.